The 53-year-old was a brilliant performer who worked with dedication for more than two decades. He climbed the corporate ladder much faster than his colleagues and eventually reached the top echelons of the business. But in the last two years, the promoters of the company noticed a decline in their performance. He appeared to be under extreme pressure, started avoiding business travel and stopped staying in the office for long periods of time. He always looked dissatisfied. To find out the reason for this, the company owners took the help of an external expert. The consultant told in a confidential report that the reason for his dissatisfaction is not the salary and allowances, but the fact that he is not able to spend quality time with his child. He was caught in the ‘corporate trap’ where he had to be available all the time, be in constant touch with the big team and hence he had no mental energy left for his child. He was constantly suffering from lack of sleep and this was a result of him having ‘aging parents’. When his child was born, he was 41 and his wife was 40. Twelve years later, balancing the most important phase of her career with the high-energy demands of raising a young child has become a burden for her. This is a glimpse of the broader crisis that many elderly parents are going through today. Today many people are becoming parents late. But then they are facing unexpected realities like lack of personal time, social pressures and serious economic challenges. Many people are facing the steep costs of raising children at a time when they should be saving for retirement or managing age-related health issues. As a result, some people have to think about withdrawing from their profession even during their highest earning years. The toxic combination of constant work pressure and lack of sleep rapidly increases physical fatigue. That is why many promoters and bosses often consider their burnout as ‘dissatisfaction’. A large section of career-driven professionals are deliberately having children late. Women aged 40 years or older will account for about 4.3% of total births in the US in 2025. This is a dramatic increase from just 1.2% share in 1990. India’s national data shows that women aged 40 to 44 years account for 1% of total deliveries across the country. However, if we look only at the national average, the ground reality is not visible. Reports from fertility clinics in metropolitan cities say that the demand for advanced reproductive procedures like IVF among women above 35 and 40 years of age in pursuit of career ambitions and financial security is increasing by 5% year-on-year. This trend indicates that there is a big change in the thinking about achieving motherhood at an older age. Studies confirm that these older mothers face harsh comparisons. They are constantly bombarded with external advice and digital information, which causes them to become overwhelmed. Pressure from parents is nothing new. This has been going on for generations, but today it seems even more intrusive, as modern algorithms have made it almost impossible to escape. Social media accounts of influencers, in particular, have heightened the concern that raising children has now become extremely complex, expensive, and extremely difficult to succeed in. Earlier generations got unsolicited advice about parenting at temples, on trips or at social events. But today parents are constantly surrounded by images that tell them what they should do for their children. This digital pressure creates a feeling of inadequacy and guilt in them. The social media feeds of most ‘supermoms’ further enhance this. As aging parents move forward, the digital ecosystem increases their anxiety again by creating new cultural debates. The bottom line is that there are undoubtedly some benefits to delaying motherhood, but it seems that the challenges arising from this decision are beginning to outweigh those benefits. Share with me your thoughts about what you are seeing around you.
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N. Raghuraman’s Column: Are the problems associated with late pregnancy outweighing the benefits of it?
