Friction Mixing Tough for Comfort-Addicted People

N. Raghuraman, Management Guru

Many older people will remember that in the summer of that time, table fan was the only source of air. In my childhood, there was a fan of Usha company in our house, which rotated to the right and blew air till the end of the room where my father was sleeping. Then he took time to turn left and come towards me.

I was sure that since the father was the head of the family, the fan also knew that he had to give more air. Whereas he kept me deprived of it because I did not have any special importance in the hierarchy of the family. So I requested father to change our places. But the fan was also clever.

This time he slowed down on the left and took time in coming to the right. Sometimes, instead of sleeping, I would keep walking with the table fan rotating and blocking the air from reaching my parents. They used to say, how long will you continue like this? Come and sleep. In those days, my father advised me – “Develop the ability to tolerate discomfort, it will help you in life.” But at that time I did not pay attention to his instructions.

Then I grew up. I was fortunate that at the age of 18, I got the opportunity to start my working life with Roche Products, a multinational company in Mumbai. While sitting and working in the air-conditioned environment of a world-renowned pharmaceutical company, I used to remember two things – first, the advice given by my father and second, his office in the reservation office of Nagpur Railway Station, which was hot, noisy, always crowded and where every employee kept wiping his sweat with a handkerchief.

I hated traveling in the local train in Bombay (now Mumbai) after leaving my AC workplace. In those days there were no AC local trains. When I decided to buy a first class season ticket in a normal local train, my father again repeated the same advice – “Develop the ability to tolerate inconvenience…” and again I ignored him.

A few years later, when my daughter came into this world, I got a window AC installed in my house in 1991, saying that the child needed rest. But my father would always take his granddaughter out of that room even in summers and say – “Children should grow up even in a slightly uncomfortable environment.” I again ignored what he said. I thought that I could give more comfort to my daughter than they were able to give to their child.

Years later, I realized how insightful my father’s advice was when I saw a generation that was becoming frustrated and angry over small things. Because, most parents did what I did. When the “king son” gets all kinds of facilities since childhood, he grows up and becomes aggressive.

Last week, a friend’s son punched the glass window because his mother did not return from the market on time and did not open the main door of the house. The friend requested me to immediately reach there and take his son to the hospital. He was not able to do friction maxing.

Friction maxing means intentionally adding small barriers or resistances to everyday habits to guard against technology-based convenience. Like reading a printed book, driving without GPS or cooking food from basic ingredients (rather than ready-to-eat) – to develop concentration, endurance and a sense of accomplishment.

It is the antidote to screen fatigue, instant gratification and mental exhaustion. By consciously accepting the discomfort of doing something difficult or a slow process with patience, the person reconnects with reality, making them less frustrated and discouraged.

The bottom line is that Also teach your children to accept some inconveniences in everyday life, avoid always choosing the easy path and develop in them the ability to tolerate inconvenience. Believe me, this will help them face uncertainties with a smile.

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