On Friday, the picture of top seed Jannik Sinner, who was considered a strong contender to win the French Open, was published on the front pages of most international newspapers. But this was not because he had won any match the previous day, but because he had lost to Juan Manuel Cirundolo, who was ranked 56th in the world rankings. Most newspapers attributed his defeat to the fact that “the scorching heat had turned the Philippe-Chatrier court into a giant baguette oven and Sinner’s condition had deteriorated beyond recognition.” After the match, Sinner said, “I don’t remember the last time I felt so weak. I was completely exhausted – my whole body was giving out. Most newspapers and sports journalists blamed the extreme heat for their defeat. In fact the world number one was just one game away from victory in the third set, and at that very moment the heat sapped all his energy. As I read this, I was reminded of some university professors and school teachers who used to say that when they return home after a long day of professional work to do their “second shift”, the heat and fatigue saps all their energy. This is a job in which there is no day off. They said that they suffocate under this pressure every day and there is no one to understand or share their fatigue. And they were absolutely right. Many conservative or traditional Families do accept the working daughter-in-law, but this acceptance often comes with conditions. The myth of the ideal Indian woman, created by society and the media, often comes with conditions. Just as a world number one athlete cannot always win in the heat, it is unrealistic to expect these young women to earn as well as serve like a traditional housewife by employing cooks, maids or maids in their time. When they try to address the problem of lack of income, they often face resistance or critical monitoring. Family members may question the quality of work done by outside helpers, or may subtly create guilt in working women by implying that they are causing the family to be neglected or fed by strangers. On the other hand, some senior members—especially those living in townships of emerging cities—may Growing up in an era of gender roles often carries over the same patterns that the mother-in-law herself endured. In such families, the demand for sharing of work is sometimes seen as possessiveness or laziness. Moreover, the power structures of the family also make it very difficult for a new bride to handle the household responsibilities. Being expected to perform consistently in two full-time roles results in mental and emotional exhaustion. Such women live in a constant “always-on” state, with little opportunity to truly relax. Their minds are constantly managing a mental checklist—of office deadlines as well as household needs—like groceries, child care, and meal planning. Gradually this condition takes the form of a time-disease, which actually reflects the psychological feeling that time is never enough. This results in constant running around, excessive alertness and inability to relax even during leisure time. To reduce this double burden on working women, immediate changes at the household level, support from spouses and changes in the way families communicate – all three are needed. The point is that just as the sports world stands firmly behind one of its champions, similarly we should also stand behind our daughters-in-law – because they are also our daughters.
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N. Raghuraman’s Column: Are you thinking of reducing the double burden of working women?
