At Least on Mother’s Day, Lighten Mom’s ‘Burden of Decision-Making’

N. Raghuraman, Management Guru

‘Son, don’t use the doll’s bathroom. You leave him dirty and he doesn’t like it,’ the mother calls from the kitchen, yet the son uses the same washroom. While making two different sized sandwiches – because Gudiya likes sandwiches cut into four pieces, while the son likes triangle-shaped ones – she also quickly goes to Gudiya’s bathroom to make sure she is dry. While doing this she grumbles, “This boy never listens to me.

It doesn’t understand that Gudiya has now grown up and she needs her own privacy. Who will eat what at home today, what should the daughter wear to class today, what time should she leave the house so as not to be late, what is the problem of each member of the family that needs to be resolved before they go out, when to take the pet for a walk, what instructions to give to the maid when she arrives – along with all these decisions, she also checks her husband’s wallet to see whether there is money in it or not, because they always leave it empty saying that now everywhere. Online payment is done, and then due to some small reason they get stuck due to lack of cash.

They spend all day making decisions – small decisions, big decisions, constant decisions, even decisions that no one sees. The mental burden of running the machinery of family is no small task. Motherhood has always been a story of fatigue and sacrifice, which is performed but not talked about. His anger is also always momentary. When the daughter comes from behind and hugs her and says, “Mother, I love you,” then no one understands that the anger that was showering on the entire house a few minutes ago suddenly melts away. She also hugs her lightly and says in one breath, “Okay, okay, I love you too. But is it time to get ready?

Look, now there is no time left even for breakfast. That’s why I always say to sleep early. Mothers of our era were caregivers, but today’s motherhood has added a different kind of mental burden. “Have you taken your charger?” From asking the simplest questions to complex things like depositing toll money in the Fastag of her husband’s car – she is managing everything mentally.

Like most moms of our time, they want to be appreciated, but even more so, today’s moms really want someone to see what they do for their children, partner, and extended family, all while holding down a full-time job. Today’s fathers are more involved than ever before, yet in many homes it is mothers who bear most of the invisible work and mental burden of maintaining the household.

The point is not only to remember what is being done but also to remember which work has to be done at the right time as per the convenience of which member of the family. And it’s also part of that to remember who likes cheese and who doesn’t. And that’s why Mother’s Day should not become another task on their to-do list. Don’t ask her, “How do you want to celebrate Mother’s Day?”

Don’t ask them “What do you want to buy?” She doesn’t want to be told which restaurant to go to for brunch, which saree to buy or which small jewelry to buy. Their daughter, son and husband should know what they like and what they want to wear. She doesn’t want to take decisions even on Mother’s Day. At least for today, give them relief from running the household, although I would like you to do this more often. My mother must be smiling at me from the stars that I am advising you today to caress your mother without any judgment.

The bottom line is that Moms love it when they feel that you pay attention to even the smallest things they like. Not only is it a relief for them that they have raised good and sensitive children, it also makes them feel loved. And believe me, every mother deserves it.

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