N. Raghuraman’s column: ‘Workout-Hangout’ is the new way to make friends


Both of them were in a room with pale blue light. Remember, some people sit on high stools across from the barman at the bar and smile when they realize they are ordering the same drink. Then they become friends, cheering the glass with each drink. Whenever the manager said ‘Wow’, both of them were cheering every 15 minutes. This praise was not because they finished the drink too quickly, but because they achieved the desired goal on their respective treadmills. By the way, the glass from which he was cheering had lukewarm water in it. And he was not in a bar, he was in a gym. Welcome to ‘Workout-Hangout’. This is a new concept among Gen-ji, who is hanging out at the gym these days and drinks ‘cutting tea’ before going home. Traditionally, young people would meet colleagues at a local bar to talk about the day’s events at the office or talk about life. Doing an activity together can be a very strong way of forming a friendship, as it provides opportunities to meet again and again and grow closer. Research shows that partnering in an activity increases the chances of friendship. This trend is being seen across the world, cutting across cultural divides. Now many people of their generation prefer to spend more time in gyms and wellness centers rather than in bars. This change in people between the age of 20 to 30 is due to concern about mental and physical health. They get satisfaction from spending money on working out in their free time and it also prevents a hangover when going to work the next day. In short, Gen-ji is now pursuing more healthy hobbies. Going to sign language classes with colleagues is one such hobby, due to which they can talk openly in the office. They’ve realized that the energy they get from a gym or a sign language class is completely different from cocktail gatherings. Most people in the age group of 20-30 and 30-40 in foreign countries consider spending on wellness and fitness as essential, not optional. Even if there is a shortage of money, especially in developed countries, they remove this expenditure from their budget at the very end. Although the UK public health charity Alcohol Concern (now Alcohol Change UK) formally launched the ‘Dry January’ campaign in 2013, most members of this generation have joined the movement in recent years. They have understood that prioritizing wellness improves their health. But it also has an added benefit – meeting like-minded friends. Just as playing and other activities together are a major means of social interaction in childhood, in adulthood this changes to a shared professional environment, similarity in lifestyle, and a special hobby-based community – like membership in a club. In management this is called ‘decreased neurological levels’. This is a framework by Robert Dilts, in which he divides the human experience into six levels – environment, behavior, capabilities, beliefs/values, identity, and purpose. It says that upper levels such as identity influence lower levels such as behavior. In such a situation, it becomes a powerful tool for personal development, leadership and problem solving by connecting with a person’s deeper purposes. The bottom line is that activity-based friendships are an excellent motivator because they satisfy biological needs for co-participation and behavior formation.

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